Yesterday, while driving back from my doctor's appointment, I was listening to Brant on Air 1 Radio. He was sharing a story of a very accomplished man who was surgeon, athlete, theologian, military tactician, and multi-linguist. Even though this man was so accomplished and full of wisdom, he still felt insecure. This really made me stop and think. I know I have endured many things and feel fairly wise in certain matters in the world. But yes, I too feel incredibly insecure. I wonder at times, Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Oh I'll never do <insert whatever> because I'm not talented enough. Etc.... Sound familiar?
Brant followed his story of the accomplished man by saying that he too is insecure. Yet he is learning to accept that through God's love, he is whole. (I am paraphrasing this and it is from memory - so I apologize to Brant if I am not quoting him word for word). This again made me stop and think. Am I worthy of this?
YES I AM (and so are you!) It is our insecurities that make us human. Insecurities give us an opportunity to reflect on who we are, where we come from, and where we are going. It is incredibly difficult for me to fathom that I am perfect in God's eyes even with all my shortcomings. Yet isn't that what faith is? Knowing that we are on a journey to more be Christlike in our actions and words. Believing that despite all of the ugliness in the world, there is beauty, love, and joy. I know that this is not the view of formal religion or of others. This is my own perspective and I know I struggle with understanding it all along with my place in the world.
So I continue on this journey to be a PHAT woman, a better me for myself. I don't always understand why I go through the challenges I do, yet I do know that all of the experiences prepare me for my future. And maybe.... so I can be ready to help someone else on their journey. Blessings to you all!
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